I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He shit in the fireplace
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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