I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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