He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
