this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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