Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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