I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
