Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize