His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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