btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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