so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize