piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
This is not my ceiling
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Sober January is a disaster.
Are my feet made of real feet?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
