One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
