I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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