I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
