She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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