Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
