I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
