So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
