I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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