Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I intend to get homeless drunk
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
