its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
even my farts smell like vagina
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
