I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
