It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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