The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
