I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
