Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
