is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
