My brain says no but my pants say off.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
