If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
