I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
