Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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