i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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