VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
