and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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