somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
