are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
