6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
