Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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