We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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