Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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