apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
