She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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