Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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