Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
