this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
