Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
