ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize