You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I have post one night stand depression
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