Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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