listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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