saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
