He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
