real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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