i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
