worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
