I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
