Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it's great music for shaving your balls
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
