How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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