I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
