I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Terrible idea I love it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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