that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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