I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
BRING THE BAGELS
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
