Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
