You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize